Chad and I love going to San Francisco, even if all that means is going there and walking on the pier. San Francisco is gorgeous, there's tons to do, see and eat...there have been songs, movies and even TV shows based on San Francisco. We love it there!
However...and who didn't see that one coming...what the heck is wrong with the people who drive in San Francisco?! It seemed as if at every turn, someone would stop right in the middle of the road...no rhyme, no reason, they would just stop. Oh, you would find a few that would stop to let someone out of their car, which is still annoying, but there are those that just stop, to stop! I wish I had an answer for this, but I don't.
I advise anyone planning to go to San Francisco, to NOT DRIVE!!! Crazy people drive there...besides, they have great public transportation :-)
Monday, February 22, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Love Is...
Do you remember the black and white drawings of the little boy and girl with the 'Love is...' captions? Those were always so cute to me. I have loved many, been in love a lot and in all those times I never really asked myself, 'Do you really know what love is'? I think that if I had, I probably would have tried less and succeeded more. I probably would have still married the same people, probably still dated all the others, but I probably would have also used the word 'Love' a lot less, because in most of those instances, it really was...just a word.
I was engaged once...to my first love. I foolishly thought that he was 'the one'. I loved him like I have never loved another since...fully trusting, fully embracing a future, ready to head to tomorrow with this man at full speed...and then, he blew it. Can you imagine a life with someone where there wasn't any jealousy, no worries, no judgement? We had that and I thought that was what 'Love is...' only thing was, he didn't appreciate it enough to return the commitment.
So, I married someone else...someone I knew in high school, who was one of my Best Friends. Who could go wrong in marrying their Best Friend? Well, sadly, it didn't work out. It's ok though, we both moved on to better lives with other people and we got a set of great kids out of the deal, so I'll never complain about my life with him. I love my first husband in the sense that he was at one time someone I shared my life with and he is also the father of my children...but is that what 'Love is...'? No...not entirely.
So, I moved on and married a really great guy...to this day, I have no complaints about him, either. I love my second husband for many more reasons than I can put down. He isn't just someone I was married to, he is someone that I continue to share my life with. He is also someone who loves me and my children enough to continue helping me raise them...we also have a child together, but he is also still very much in the lives of my children from my first marriage, but we also ended up divorcing. But, in all that...is that what 'Love is...'? It's love, just not the love that I'm actually referring to.
Then there's Chad...he's the guy in the picture up top. Do you see how he looks at me? Everyone else saw that look, except for me. I was oblivious to the obvious. I was still in that zone of 'Love is...what I want it to be'...and we both made some huge mistakes in our relationship, because really...I don't believe we were ready for what 'Love is....'
I put him through a lot and it's fair to say that he returned the favor, but at the end of all that we both took a deep breath and realized that we wanted better for us and for this family. So, I ask myself now, thinking back on the men I've just mentioned....is Chad a great guy? Does he help me with my kids? Is he my Best Friend? Is he worthy of my trust? Absolutely!
I have a great guy who does all the above and talks to me, shares with me, listens to me, works with me and yes, even at times, tells me when I'm wrong...he's a guy who offers me breakfast in the morning and waits to have lunch with me, who sits quietly as I vent about my day in 2.5 seconds and remembers everything I've just said so that we can discuss it afterwards when I finally stop long enough to breathe.
He's a man who believes in change and improvement...a man who acknowledges his mistakes and tries to rectify them and if he can't, still works towards making better that part of him that brought him to the difficult moments of reality that we all face.
Most importantly, he's a man of God...a Believer...in every sense of the word. Does he falter? Of course he does...but he's also man enough to dust himself off and fix that as well.
So, fast forward through some horrendous times, some good times and some bad times...and you will find us here...working through today, instead of yesterday...pursuing our dreams together and being ok when we have to be apart...stopping long enough to be thankful for what God has provided and seeking a better future...and again, you will find us here...where 'Love is...'
I was engaged once...to my first love. I foolishly thought that he was 'the one'. I loved him like I have never loved another since...fully trusting, fully embracing a future, ready to head to tomorrow with this man at full speed...and then, he blew it. Can you imagine a life with someone where there wasn't any jealousy, no worries, no judgement? We had that and I thought that was what 'Love is...' only thing was, he didn't appreciate it enough to return the commitment.
So, I married someone else...someone I knew in high school, who was one of my Best Friends. Who could go wrong in marrying their Best Friend? Well, sadly, it didn't work out. It's ok though, we both moved on to better lives with other people and we got a set of great kids out of the deal, so I'll never complain about my life with him. I love my first husband in the sense that he was at one time someone I shared my life with and he is also the father of my children...but is that what 'Love is...'? No...not entirely.
So, I moved on and married a really great guy...to this day, I have no complaints about him, either. I love my second husband for many more reasons than I can put down. He isn't just someone I was married to, he is someone that I continue to share my life with. He is also someone who loves me and my children enough to continue helping me raise them...we also have a child together, but he is also still very much in the lives of my children from my first marriage, but we also ended up divorcing. But, in all that...is that what 'Love is...'? It's love, just not the love that I'm actually referring to.
Then there's Chad...he's the guy in the picture up top. Do you see how he looks at me? Everyone else saw that look, except for me. I was oblivious to the obvious. I was still in that zone of 'Love is...what I want it to be'...and we both made some huge mistakes in our relationship, because really...I don't believe we were ready for what 'Love is....'
I put him through a lot and it's fair to say that he returned the favor, but at the end of all that we both took a deep breath and realized that we wanted better for us and for this family. So, I ask myself now, thinking back on the men I've just mentioned....is Chad a great guy? Does he help me with my kids? Is he my Best Friend? Is he worthy of my trust? Absolutely!
I have a great guy who does all the above and talks to me, shares with me, listens to me, works with me and yes, even at times, tells me when I'm wrong...he's a guy who offers me breakfast in the morning and waits to have lunch with me, who sits quietly as I vent about my day in 2.5 seconds and remembers everything I've just said so that we can discuss it afterwards when I finally stop long enough to breathe.
He's a man who believes in change and improvement...a man who acknowledges his mistakes and tries to rectify them and if he can't, still works towards making better that part of him that brought him to the difficult moments of reality that we all face.
Most importantly, he's a man of God...a Believer...in every sense of the word. Does he falter? Of course he does...but he's also man enough to dust himself off and fix that as well.
So, fast forward through some horrendous times, some good times and some bad times...and you will find us here...working through today, instead of yesterday...pursuing our dreams together and being ok when we have to be apart...stopping long enough to be thankful for what God has provided and seeking a better future...and again, you will find us here...where 'Love is...'
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Family
Family is such a hot button topic for me that I have to get this one out there first. If we all defined 'Family', we would come up with incredibly different answers as to what exactly Family is to us. For me, Family are the biological people in my life and of course, the people we married and the Families we marry in to. I have friends that are 'like' Family, but if it came down to it and I had to choose between my blood relatives and my Family friends, I'd always choose Family. I'm weird like that, I guess.
I've encountered many people who feel it's ok to call someone else 'Mom' or 'Dad', and I admit, at one time, I was the same way...for a short while. I eventually realized that if I did that, then how special could my 'Mom' and 'Dad' really be? For me, referring to anyone other than my biological parents as 'Mom' and 'Dad' would in fact, be my way of absolutely replacing them in my life with someone else, because to me, 'Mom' and 'Dad' aren't just words, they are everything.
I'm also the kind of person that doesn't believe that once you've been married and gotten a divorce, that man (or woman) that you spent however many years with, had kids with and all that cool stuff is no longer your Family. To me, they are Family for always. Why? Well, once someone is part of your Family, you can't just wack them off like a rotting appendage. They deserve the continued love and respect of Family until they decide to walk away from that...and for me, I have to wonder, why would anyone want to do that?!
We all have our issues with our Family members. Sometimes, we get along and most times we don't see eye to eye on even the simplest of issues, BUT, we are still Family. Many of us have cut from our lives, certain Family members due to arguments or disagreements, but they are still Family. Family isn't something that you can just block or delete off your Facebook, or outright ignore...we can't replace all our DNA and change who we are or where we come from and we can't erase those we have permanently let into our lives as Family.
Family, just is...so get used to it.
*This of course, doesn't apply to people who have taken advantage of or abused you or the Family.
I've encountered many people who feel it's ok to call someone else 'Mom' or 'Dad', and I admit, at one time, I was the same way...for a short while. I eventually realized that if I did that, then how special could my 'Mom' and 'Dad' really be? For me, referring to anyone other than my biological parents as 'Mom' and 'Dad' would in fact, be my way of absolutely replacing them in my life with someone else, because to me, 'Mom' and 'Dad' aren't just words, they are everything.
I'm also the kind of person that doesn't believe that once you've been married and gotten a divorce, that man (or woman) that you spent however many years with, had kids with and all that cool stuff is no longer your Family. To me, they are Family for always. Why? Well, once someone is part of your Family, you can't just wack them off like a rotting appendage. They deserve the continued love and respect of Family until they decide to walk away from that...and for me, I have to wonder, why would anyone want to do that?!
We all have our issues with our Family members. Sometimes, we get along and most times we don't see eye to eye on even the simplest of issues, BUT, we are still Family. Many of us have cut from our lives, certain Family members due to arguments or disagreements, but they are still Family. Family isn't something that you can just block or delete off your Facebook, or outright ignore...we can't replace all our DNA and change who we are or where we come from and we can't erase those we have permanently let into our lives as Family.
Family, just is...so get used to it.
*This of course, doesn't apply to people who have taken advantage of or abused you or the Family.
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